My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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