when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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