Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
