I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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