Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
this hospital has no fireball
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
