yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
