I think my fart just growled at me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
