weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize