I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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