Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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