Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
