Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize