just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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