I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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