Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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