mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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