like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
