come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
