Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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