I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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