He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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