i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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