It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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