Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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