you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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