My brain says no but my pants say off.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
