Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
