i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
