I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
