he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
