Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
