these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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