yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
