He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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