he shaved USA in his pubs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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