Your tits are I can't wait for
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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