if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize