It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
