im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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