i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize