So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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