He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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