he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
