You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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