I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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