We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
