from now on my penis is your penis
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.