I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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