I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
