Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
