so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
