forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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