Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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