Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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