We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
