Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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